Cinch Day 5

Day 5… finally.

It’s 4:30pm, 2 hours past my 3rd meal of the day and 2 hours until my next, and I really want to eat something.  It’s not that I’m hungry, I’m just tired (didn’t sleep last night) and crabby, and thus am looking for my emotional rescue in food. Funny, I never thought of myself as an emotional eater, but I guess I am.

Today has been fine.  No cravings for anything particular and had not been hungry until now.  I will persevere and finish out the day – why quit when I’m so close to the finish line?  I was proud of myself today for twice being in arm’s reach of a candy dish and not digging in.  Actually, I didn’t event want it, so I guess that’s a step in the right direction.  I’m eager to step on the scale tomorrow morning and see where I stand after the detox phase, but my weekly weigh-in isn’t until Friday.

Thinking ahead, I’ve got several long meetings this week that involve a meal and I’m feeling very nervous, since meals away from home are usually where I falter.  I even had a dream about it last night!  Maybe this seems silly, but the whole point of the diet is to eat a healthy small meal every 3-5 hours, so what if I’ve got long meetings during the times I’m supposed to eat?  I will not be pulling out my salmon meal in the middle of our meeting!  Not to mention the awkwardness of not eating while everyone else does and then dealing with everyone asking why you’re on a diet when you’re not fat.  You are right, I’m not “overweight”, but what you can’t see through my well-fitted clothes is that I actually have a small frame and have an extra layer of fat on top of it.  I’m on the upper-end of the healthy-weight range for my height, so what’s wrong with trying to lose a little?  Then there’s the bitter grocery store clerks who eye your “diet food” and make some remark about how I don’t need this stuff and they don’t understand why we are so obsessed with our weight.  Yes, this has happened to me twice, but we’re getting off subject now… 

OK, I know the goal of all this is to learn how to eat more healthily in real life.  This isn’t a TV show where your whole life stops while you’re on a diet.  It’s real life and we have to learn to eat well in real situations.  So back to tomorrow’s 11am to 3pm meeting… it’s a catered meal and there’s nothing diet-friendly.  Since I get up at 5am, I must have breakfast by 6 (must eat within 1 hour of waking), then I’ll stretch my own personal lunch until just before 11 and try to make it through the entire meeting without touching the cookie tray that will inevitably be sitting right in front of me. 

If Cookie Monster went on a diet...