For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt that I needed to lose at least 5 pounds. I can remember getting up early in the morning when I was 14 to run around our neighborhood before school to try and lose weight. A certain cute boy referred to me as “pork chop” and although too proud to show it, I was secretly distraught. I also watched my mother and other family members lament over their weight issues their whole lives, so did that somehow get passed on to me?
Now fast forward 15 years and I’m still struggling with that 5 pounds. After many years of yo-yo dieting, various workout routines, and an equal amount of junk food, I think it’s time to give it up! Is it really worth it? I always somehow thought that my “perfect body” was right around the corner and I just needed to work a littler harder to get there, but now I’m almost 30, have trained for 2 marathons, and done a decent job of cleaning up my eating habits, so I’m beginning to wonder if it’s realistic. Do I really want to give up all my favorite foods? No. Do I want to workout every day for 2 hours? No. I enjoy eating healthily most of the time, getting at least 30 minutes of exercise a day, and shopping for all those cute clothes to fit around these womanly hips. Thanks to a great consignment boutique in Knoxville (Reruns), I’ve started weeding out all of those clothes in my closet that are always going to be a little small, some that still had tags because I was sure I’d fit into them very soon.
I have lots of great memories from my 20’s, which are unfortunately also scattered with memories of what I gave up for the sake of that 5 pounds… meeting my cousin in DC at this amazing crepe restaurant and refusing to give into the temptation for the scrumptious chocolate berry crepe that I wanted sooooo bad… passing on the wonderful cupcakes that my friend made me for my birthday… giving up dessert at family functions when they were so proud of their culinary masterpieces. I know it’s all about moderation, but I’ve never quite mastered that art – it tends to be all or nothing with me. I’ll give up things for a week or two, as in the examples above, only to give up and binge the following week, making me wonder why I bothered in the first place since after all these years, I’m still right where I started.
Maybe this is getting back to my previous post about accepting 30. I embrace getting older because I find that each year I’m more accepting of who I am and worry less about trying to attain some new goal I’ve set for myself – usually involving losing 5 pounds.